I tell you whats happening, www.chrisgower.co.uk is going to be a website properly. I am flexing my artistic code and stretching my aching fingers and building/plagerising a layout which will incorporate my photography and this blog too. Wha ha ha, as they say.
Archive for August, 2007
Best act at Reading this year? Smashing Pumpkins were there? Close competition. Didn’t go. Too poor and not worthy obviously.
Big grey cloud today. Not going in to it as it’ll depress me. Bastardo.
This is really me following the crowd with this one, but here is a man who knows how to play a guitar.
Its refreshing to know that there is talent out there that isn’t Jack Johnson or Jose Gonzalez or whateverhisnameis. Really glad that I found this video as it takes my mind off the horrible smell coming from outside, it smells like a sewer has overflowed or something has crawled under a rock and died outside the window. Anyway. I had generally had enough of cooky girls and boys with guitars but I can make an exception with Newton.
Today has been alright, had the urge to take my stargazing to a new level and join the Exeter Astronomical Society and see what they are all about, I had a happy afternoon on Galaxy Zoo identifying Ecliptical or Spiral galaxies which makes me feel that I am doing something worthy with my time at least. Breathing has been tough today, but that might be down to inactivity.
I have been debating about whether or not I should see some sort of counsellor or therapist or something, as I am starting to get a bit miserable about this whole illness thing. If you are having a good day then click away somewhere else as I am not in the best state of mind and this post will most probably be pretty negative.
I really hate what I am doing at the moment jobwise. Maybe that’s an overgeneralisation, I hate what the job has become. When I started, my job had an eclectic mix of things we had to do which included curriculum guidance, relatively intensive liaison between us and staff in terms of book orders and book lists, topics and curriculum in general. This was with the added bonuses of library work too, but now with this new Curriculum Support role being advertised for our centre, there seems to be less for us to do. In essence, we have become a legion of issue & return machines consigned to do mundane work that you do not need a degree for.
As I am ill, I can’t really go and apply for another job as I cannot guarantee that I will get as much support as I have been getting regards my illness. Plus today I have been ambling around feeling fat and lazy, which despite my best efforts I still look fat and I am still unmotivated to do anything vaguely energetic. Plus I like eating too which doesn’t help.
Moan Moan.
It is ranting a bit isn’t it? My novel seems to be coming along nicely, and I have taken some nice photos too which I will post to Flickr at some point, I also post them to facebook and deviantart so it takes me time to post all of the ones that I want to. I guess I could just put them on my own website but it really seems to be a whole lot of bother that we don’t need.
Honiton Hill Rally on Monday, on my own. It’ll be interesting to go and have a look to see what they have there, I did ask my grandad but he feels he can’t walk very far so I’ll be on my lonesome. Went to the Topsham Carni tonight, lasted half an hour and then realised that I didn’t want to be there on my own, came back and then got a call from Carole. Took her and David up to Uffculme which was nice, not picking them up so I have to give back half the money they gave me. Only fair really!
Not sure why I have felt under the weather the last few days, restless about something but not sure what.
In my total manic supplement buying splurge I had a few weeks ago, I realised that I was finding it hard to breathe. I have cut the amount I am taking at now I am able to breathe easier, coincidence? I was taking too many I am reckoning.
I have yet another form to fill out for reimbursement of travel costs, but they haven’t even given me a guarantee that I will get anywhere with it. You go up to London and then get told that they can reimburse your travel costs, hahaha, yea right. Only if you qualify.
Day nearly over, nearly finished exam papers, not done that much this week as there simply isn’t that much to do anyway. Have to get sawdust for bigpigpig and some muesli for her too. Silly squaeky thing.
Lots of people have been very receptive of my photographs, Steve rang up and wanted to display them on the wall of Falcon House LC, so I might get some exposure after all! Yey!
OK well yesterday was, for lack of a better word, crap. Lots of things go wrong, small things mainly, level crossing gates going down at the wrong moment, arguments over the BBC Have Your Say debate about university courses being scrapped and pretensious Investment Bankers younger then me declaring that they earn much more then everyone else. I know that really in truth, nobody is born equal but that doesn’t give them the excuse to rub it peoples faces, especially those who are working their hardest and who are really doing good for the world. Why do nurses and those that care for other people get such poor wages and those who are content with screwing poor people out of all their money earn so much? Even doctors (apart from some GP’s on £250k p.a.) don’t get paid a huge amount given the responsibility of their job.
That was a rant of sorts but I got really jealous. I stepped back and then realised how jealous I get of other people, and very easily. These sorts of feelings and some other facets of my psyche make me think that I have narcissistic tendencies, not extreme, but still something that you have to be aware of. But then is it human nature to get jealous and resentful? yes and no, not so easily. But then my interest in Psychology is merely coffeetable so I guess I can’t staple lables to my earlobes yet.
So today I am sitting in work working hard and being immensely bored. I don’t want to be here, I want to go off somewhere and write something monumental, that will allow people to stroke my ego. Yes..stroke it, ha ha ha.
On an interesting note yesterday, I watched a programme called Cosmos: The Beginners Guide and being the wannabe amateur astronomer that I am, I watched it gluttonously gobbling it up. The thing I learned was that in Pisa there is a telescope that measures how much the Eart wobbles when gravitational waves hit it. We’re on about Microns here but its still pretty amazing.
Right then. The head against wall moment is that feeling you get when you spend hours writing a really good intro to your book, then realise that you have just written the beginning of the Bourne Identity, and then realise that the rest of your book is also identical to the Bourne Trilogy.
So I have decided to go ahead and write up a plan based on the Jerry Reed song ‘The Guitar Man’ who wanders around and doesn’t get anywhere playing his guitar and then ends up in Mobile, Alabama. It’ll have substance and hopefully I will be able to pull it off.
Stephen King kicks ass, I am reading Misery (well tellthe truth it is sitting on the stairs awaiting my arrival) and then I will devour the rest of them hopefully. Work tomorrow, feeling apathetic to it, not that I don’t care about it, but I have finally got my focus on something worth focusing.
I shall be doing this quite a bit. Maybe not drinking or telling my family to go to hell, but apart from that it seems like a winning combinatio.
Been off today, done nothing of any use thankfully. Going out to buy some food for midnight feast, pass the bread rolls old boy..
All I really want to do is write, but what I want to write. Not application forms.
I hate application forms with a loathing that can only be reserved for such gems of bureaucracy such as tax forms, red tape and just general bloody ignorant stupid forms that ask you irrelevant questions. Yes I am sorry, I am in ranting mode today.
I have just filled one out for the Senior Learning Centre Assistant position that nobody actually told us about until Monday when there were three days left. I immediately thought, bugger that, but have come around to the idea that putting myself through a pointless interview might actually make my health worse, so hell that has to be a good idea.
There is no such thing as getting somewhere by merit in the world of the public sector. You are not just instantly promoted as it were, there has to be a fair and equal selection process which is a total utter waste of time. Vue, for example, do not hire from outside their ranks, they only hire from the below which means that everyone gets a chance to progress and have their hard work rewarded. I admit that I am not the worlds most focused person, but I can imagine that I will not get the job, why? because there are people against me who are less qualified, been here less time, and who will most probably do better then me.
OK well rant over, it was pretty mindless which is indicative of a person who wants to rant for the sake of it. I am having a few days off with Laura so we can be together and do something nice, however, it being the monsoon season it is raining again so that might not happen. Laura has been working really hard to get the invites done, so I must by her something to show her how much I care and that she works hard.
People keep asking me what I want for my birthday, and it seems that the only thing that I can think of is a laptop or a digital SLR which are both stupidly expensive. Admittedly I could buy myself a laptop as I only want to word process on it, but I would be strung up and spanked.
Extra RAM for the computer and a new house is all I need I think. And a publisher who’ll publish my book too…
This has to be my favourite music video of the moment. Going ghost hunting tonight 
, not sure where yet, its more of an experiment rather then anything else.
