life is better when it's paperclipped to a poets nose…
OK, I have two ideas for novels.
First one is the Piano Man based plot and the second one is a plot based around the Bilderberg Group. Just realised its 1.50am…brain..dead. Saw the King Edward I today, got snaps, good snaps. Chest is still tight, damit.
Saturday is here 
and we’re going out tonight for a meal ! Very excited.
I have a few ideas for stories, the main one is based on the Piano Man who appeared from no where on the Isle of Sheppey, later found out to be a German with no documents or passport. He was supposedlt a virtuoso pianist although people have refuted this. However, its a nice story anyway which can be expanded on greatly!
I spent most of yesterday playing the computer, I played Sim City too much, and I won’t even go in to what else I was doing as it is incredibly sad. I also bought Burdock extract, Kelp extract and some Ginko (see http://www.healingfoodreference.com/cancer.html) which I Stumbled a few days ago. Ginko is just me, but the Burdock and the Kelp is meant to be considered a good effective means of warding off cancer and helping in its treatment.
OK, so those of a scientific mind are most probably thinking, “thats what quacks say” but when you are faced with something like cancer, you’ll be willing to try ANYTHING so long as there is evidence of some sort to say that it is worth giving it a try.
So hopefully this daily bizarre cocktail of supplements and allsorts will do something. Something is better then nothing.
Today we’re going to do something, but I am not sure what. I might go to the carboot tomorrow and see if I can get a Tripod for my camera. so I can do nightshots on a long exposure and know safe in the knowledge that I won’t get camera blur. The idea of developing ones own film has come to a bit of a rutt, as I realised that to buy the equipment, chemicals and to lose your girlfriend isn’t really worth it. I hope I’ll be able to sell them on eBay, if not I can keep them and hope that I get the chance to get in a dark room!
Can I be political here? The Guardian is supporting David Cameron. What the hell?
Face it people, we’re going to have a general election next year. Gordy wants to get in to power on his own merit, and do a Major. I feel history will not repeat itself though, as Labour is still strong in parts of the world, and people do not trust the Tories because of past misdemenours and lots and lots of grudges. I am not yet Pro-Tory, on the contrary, but he [DC] does really truly believe that his a chemeleon. He is all things to all people, and so long has he says just the right thing at just the right time, he’ll get in to power. But can he deliver? That is the next big question.
Right political stink bag over, oh and the ‘era of cheap borrowing’ is over. To all those people who have credit cards, we’re fucked.
Two things that interest me in this rare clip showing John Betjeman talking about the Kings Lynn route from London, a rare glimpse in to the mind of a great poet and writer, and a chance to see rare footage of 1960’s BR. It’s almost like my grandfather giving me one of his little lectures that I used to get where ever we went, he used to soak up knowledge and dispense it normally with expert timing, a little like Betjeman does here.
I have been finding it hard to breathe today, naturally I am starting to worry about what this means, but I am hoping that it is asthma rather then anything ominous. As the rule goes, give it two weeks and then worry.
I am closer to painting again, then I have been for a while. Laura bought me some oils, so I will have a go with them soon. Keep meaning to go to the library to get some books on darkroom developing but I lost the motivation today. Will have another go tomorrow.
Since this whole cancer thing, my ability to motivate myself has started to decline worryingly. The feeling of “whats the point” comes back and niggles in the back of my mind as if I should be doing something about it, but not knowing what that something is. This kind of goes for work, and just generally with the rest of my life too. It is a bad thing as you start losing the will to do things and you eventually lose the will to live itself, which is the worst thing, mentally, that can happen. Anyway, I am looking forward to Saturday as we are going out for a romantic meal it’s about time, we haven’t done anything like that for a long long time.
Wedding invitations need doing, but I guess when you work it’s harder to fit it in.
I have discovered Yann Tiersen (through Musicovery) and Craig Armstrong, go to iTunes and download them as they are quite pleasing to listen to. Also download Faure’s Reqium as it is singularly the most beautiful piece of music that you will hear. I am trying to read the ‘Undercover Economist’ but I have only started to that normally means I’ll lose interest.
Lea rang me up and said, “hey, where do you live?” to which I tell him, and then he says to me “I’m coming over?” and I say… what?. He thinks we arranged it, despite me not actually saying that it was OK. I have a job, unlike him, so he just turns up at pretty much the worst time ever.
So anyway, might be seeing him tomorrow…need to get out I guess.
One of us has lost it, and I don’t think its me.
So, day two of the holidays and I am bored out of my brain. I have things to do, cleaning and bed making and stuff like that, but apart from that and sitting on the computer playing computer games, I am bored. Bored bored bored.
I will come up with something intelligent later…
Ron Paul is a porn star? or is that Ron Jeremy? one of them is running for congress or for the presidency.
Well the first day off of my annual leave. Not going anywhere or doing anything today, well tidying and cleaning obviously, but later I might go in to town and head to the library and swot up on how to process films at home. It is a messy and effortladen process but highly rewarding I’ve been told, plus it has got to be cheaper in the long run to produce nice big photos! Wanted to be taught how to do this, but tutoring costs anything up to five hundred squid, which I can’t/won’t pay.
Weekend was weird, stayed up all nice on Saturday night and have now screwed up my body clock. Demando was rampent yesterday which was frustrating. And so it goes on.
Went to have my stitches out today only to find that there were none there as they were dissolvable ones, so feeling better ab0ut that, going to possibly walk to town with camera and snap stuff if I can find anything worth snapping. Results on here soon.
I love potato waffles. I have to start this post with that slightly strange announcement but I love them.
I had a horrid dream last night that the doctors said that my nodules had grown bigger. I woke up with that impending sense of doom that I had when they first announced what they’d found a couple of months ago. It is a really dark and numb feeling, tinged with sadness. I convinced myself that it was only a dream so in no time at all I managed to get positive again, but these things do have a tendency to just appear, no black dogs but its that slightly psychotic squirrel again.
Last night, I went on an adventure. My tegaderm was coming off my back and it smelled nasty as well, so I rang up Abbey Ward and spoke to the really nice nurse called Andy who has a fantastic bed side manner, and he said that I could pop in and they’d redress me. So I got on the bus, and travelled across Exeter with my camera and my SLR camera in my canvas bag, only to be joined by a pack of cheeky oiks who made a lot of noise until Cowick Street. I got off at the high street then had the inspired idea to walk from the High Street to the hospital. It’s a lot further then you think…
Got to hospital, redressed, found a bus got on it, realised it was the wrong one, got off it, waited and waited, got on the right one, got back to town, got on another bus, was joined by a pack of pissed up 13 year olds, was joined and surrounded by more pissed up 13 year olds, got off early as they were starting to piss me off, got home, slept.
That was really quite pointless, but this is serving a purpose, this tale. I have no life.
So yes the car failed spectacularly with two tyres, a buggered exhaust and lots of other things that mean that it’ll cost in excess of £250.
I am not wailing in to my keyboard as such, as that’s just silly, but it was something that really did come from out of the dark. Like a monster, who sits in the dark waiting for things like this, called the ‘Bad Suprise Monster’. He’s a bit like the Black Dog (if you have read the book about a Black Dog calld Depression), then you’ll understand.
Right well, I don’t have a Dog called depression, its more like a slightly psychotic squirrel. But I do have a monster that brings things like this at the very moment that you don’t expect it. He likes suprising me with nice things like cancer and MOT’s and things like that, you never know what fun and exciting thing he’ll come up with next!
I have lost the metaphorical will to live now. Metaphorically as I am still alive and happy that I am alive, but when you are literally surrounded by mountains of books then it really does start to wear you down. Where/Ware/Wear. The English lexicon is a stimulating and exciting gamble, sometimes you get it right and other times you get it embarrasingly and amazingly wrong.
I am thinking of starting a new Terrorist organisation, the Grammar Brigade. Correcting bad grammar wherever we see it. Not firebombing the houses of dyslexic people, just taking correction in our own hands. I feel a Facebook group coming.
I would have lots of fun smashing things with it. I guess out of boredom, one must occupy oneself.
Yesterday was good, I made lots of food and a killer Hot Corn Soup for tea with loads of noodles and nice things. My dressing is slowly coming off but I am just hoping it’ll hold till Monday! And my car has gone in for an MOT. I think I need some sort of MOT myself, not sure if I would pass it though.
I will update later when I am weeping in to my keyboard after getting a phone call saying how much it’ll be…blubber 
Cheesegreen – My poetry ‘Plog’
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